‘Does it still hurt, Amie?’ asked me to my friend, Amie.
We were walking on the sidewalk after we bought some ice cream at Carvel’s, never changed from when we were in college.
She was silent for a moment.
It came when she was telling me about the progress she has made over the past 3 years after we graduated. Career, dreams, friends, and everything. I asked her why she still mentioned that person she had a history with.
‘I remember when he convinced me during my first job interview.’
‘I remember when he reminded me to never forget my dreams when I almost gave up.’
‘I also remember the way he acts like opened the door for me, pulled out a chair for me to sit, and patted my head like I'm his little puppy.’
After we walked about a mile away, we sat on a park bench, with buskers jamming nearby and a cityscape lighting up the night.
‘Wait, let me think, Josh,’ she said while eating her strawberry ice cream.
‘Do you know why ice creams ever get into arguments?’
‘I don’t know Josh, why?’
‘Because they always cone-fess their feelings!’
‘What a lame joke,’ she said with a bit of a smile.
‘Well, did you get the answer yet?’ I’m asking it again.
‘You know, Josh, wounds heal, but they leave scars. I know it’s been years, and it’s not like it’s hurting me anymore. But seeing those scars? It always reminds me of how it all went down, how it felt, and how it ended. Sadly, those scars are there to stay, a permanent reminder.’
‘That’s tough. How did you cope with it?’ asked me again.
‘Well, coping varies for everyone, you know? Time’s gonna tell. Just gotta keep swimming.’
‘Whose fault did you think it was, Amie?’
As we sat there, the city noises hummed around us. She took a deep breath, the memories flooding back like a tidal wave.
‘I don’t think it’s about whose fault it was,’ Amie replied slowly, choosing her words carefully.
‘Sometimes things just happen, you know? Circumstances, misunderstandings… It’s easy to get caught up in assigning blame, but in the end, what matters is how we move forward.’
‘Yeah, you’re right,’ I said softly. ‘It’s all about moving forward.’
‘What was the last thing you said to him?’ asked me once again.
‘It was at our favorite cafe, the night a week after my birthday.’
‘I told him I was sorry, and that I wished I could love him more. I hoped he’d find someone who could give him everything he was looking for,’ Amie continued as she finished the last bits of her cone.
Her eyes also looked teary.
‘Yes, it leaves scars, beautiful scars,’ she continued, but now with a smile on her face.
